Saturday I went on my second official Match.com date.
I know what you’re thinking if you read my first post about starting this whole online dating adventure. “Kathleen, its January. You went on your last date in October. What’s the deal?”
Well after that first date, where we had a fantastic time (at least I thought we had) and he never called or texted me again. Yeah it was a great feeling. I guess I lost some of the enthusiasm I had when I started. I didn’t check my profile as much, then the holidays rolled around and I went home for two weeks. Then my Grandmother passed away and I just wasn’t in the mood to date.
Then I realized that I had spent you know money for said profile and I needed to at least get my money’s worth. So I jumped back in.
I started talking to…….I think I’m gonna call him Workout Guy……about 2 weeks ago via the app. But per usual I was terrible at checking and responding via the app so I bit the bullet and told him to text me. We had exchanged the typical where are you originally from, what do you do, how long have you been on Match emails. So when he texted me we moved on to other more interesting topics.
I’m not going to bore you with the details of the early text messages as they were pretty standard get to know you messages. Until last week. Until I got some red lights going off about Workout Guy.
Now from his nickname I think you can tell what this guy was pretty much obsessed with, working out. I realized this after he spent all of last Monday asking me about my workout habits.
“Where do you workout?”
“Who do you workout with?”
“Do you like her”
“What’s your favorite type of workout?”
and my personal favorite, “Have you seen results yet?”
At that point I realized that he thought I was Ms. Workout Freak 2015. So I quickly disillusioned him of that idea.
I had further proof that he was obsessed with working out when he told me that he was training for a bodybuilding type competition. Then still more proof when he flat out told me and I quote,
“My life revolves around they gym, protein shakes, pre workout drinks, chicken, salmon, jasmine rice, almond butter, egg whites, and oatmeal…”
To which I responded with, ” Uh Oh. My life revolves around binge watching TV shows and movies, reading, being as lazy as I can, eating sushi, and most recently fancy cheese, salami, and crackers.”
So I told myself that even though we didn’t have that much in common, he’s still a nice guy so when he asked if we could meet I said yes. Sadly though he didn’t win himself very many cool kid points with the next two parts of my story.
Fast forward to Wednesday, Workout Guy asks what I would like to do. I’ve already told him I love the movies so he suggested seeing a movie and then I suggested going to dinner somewhere beforehand so we could chat. He said he would pick three places and then I could choose which sounded good.
Here were my options: Torchy’s Tacos, Sushi Hana, and Grimaldi’s. Now I’ve been to the other two places but never to Grimaldi’s but I know it’s pizza place and my roommate said he was good. So because of those two factors I said Grimaldi’s. To which he responded,
“Ah, the inner fat kid won out in the end huh.”
I’m sorry what? Did you just call me a fat kid and basically judge my restaurant choice without first having met me. And why would even give me that as a choice if you’re gonna be a total jackass about it if I were to chose it. I was fairly put off after having read that.
Then within a few minutes he questioned why I wanted to know his last name. Which I’m pretty sure was supposed to be a joke but still, you don’t do that to someone you’ve met online and are about to meet. Of course I want to know your last name, weirdo, I have to make sure you’re not a rapist and stalker via Facebook. I also need to give your full name to as many people as possible so that I tell all my friends your name in case I disappear.
But this last thing takes the cake my friends. It. Takes. the. Cake.
At around 5:30 (Still on Wednesday) he asked what I was doing, I was getting a manicure. I asked what he was doing. He said, “Just got to the gym.” (shocking) “It’s back day, I’m gonna die.” He then preceded to tell me he would “send me a picture” when he was done.
Once again fast forward to later that night at around 12:30am, I am already sound asleep in my bed and my phone receives a text message from Workout Guy of…..you guessed it….a selfie pic of his back while he’s flexing………..
I’ll just let that stew a moment. Soak all that in.
And then say it with me…..WHO DOES THAT!!!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT??? NO ONE WANTS A BACK SELFIE!! NO ONE!!!!!!
(Ps. Sorry if you didn’t want to see that, but I felt the only way to get you to experience what I did when I saw it…was to post it.)
I shared the above story with pretty much all of my girlfriends and I asked them whether or not I should still go on the date. They all said yes. Just go and see what happens. Who know maybe he’s just awkward and slightly douchie via text.
Well I went. I had an awful time with a very boring and oddly proportioned human male. He did pay for my lunch and he was polite and all that jazz. But there was absolutely no spark, no butterflies, no hint of I want to see you again. So after about an hour of chatting and eating at Torchy’s Tacos I said thanks for lunch and goodbye.
And I have yet to speak to him since. Which is a ok with me.
On to the next one! 🙂
Hopefully the next episode goes better. I plan to stick with the whole online dating thing through March. Then well try other avenues to meet the love of my life. 🙂
Also here’s a Christmas themed selfie, so you don’t have that awful back image in your head all day. I know I did.
Have a great Tuesday!